Tag Archives: schabir shaik

Coming soon to a cinema near you: Catch Me If You Nkandla

Posted on May 30, 2014 by Jonathan Ancer

ANC this, DA that, Agang this, EFF that. I’ve had politics up to my eyeballs. I’m all Zuma’d out, I’ve hit my Juju-quote quota and I’ve reached my Zille threshold. The best way to escape the political world is a … Continue reading →

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Doctor’s orders, general disorder and two sick MPs (finish and klaar)

Posted on October 11, 2013 by Jonathan Ancer

Minutes of the meeting of the Medical Parolee Support Group (MPSG) Schabir Shaik: I call the meeting of the Medical Parolee Support Group to order. Who is present? Jackie Selebi: Did you say present? I told the judge I didn’t … Continue reading →

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Cons of joining the pro parolees

Posted on July 27, 2012 by Jonathan Ancer

Dear Jackie Congratulations. You nailed it. Getting medical parole just before a massive sporting weekend was genius. Like a hole in one. The counter-revolutionaries were so busy gushing about Three-Ton Amla and Four-Major Els they forgot to be outraged about … Continue reading →

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An X-Rayted look at the Big Bang

Posted on June 1, 2012 by Jonathan Ancer

“Replace sex toy, damaged instrument,” says my mistress. Woah! What? Shhhh. I look around to see who has heard her and spy a guy from the Film and Publication Board. “Be careful,” I warn, “this sort of dirty talk could … Continue reading →

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It’s a close call as I get (s)hut up

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Jonathan Ancer

I’m detained in the joint. I’m caged in the slammer. I’m locked up in the big house. I’m sure it’s going to be more of a Schabir-sized incarceration than a Mandela-sized stretch, but doing time is doing time. It’s Sunday … Continue reading →

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Stroke of genius

Posted on March 18, 2011 by Jonathan Ancer

I have a confession to make: sometimes I wear spandex. On Sunday I climbed on to my trusty steed and took part in the Not-The-Cape-Times Pick n Pay Cycle Tour. I nearly didn’t make it on to my bike, though. … Continue reading →

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If the shoe fits… put it in mouth

Posted on March 4, 2011 by Jonathan Ancer

I was on my way to the airport when I saw a Cape Times poster: “Foot in mouth hits South Africa”. There must be something in the water because this unfortunate disease is spreading in our fine land. I wondered … Continue reading →

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Tiger would look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle made for two… dozen

Posted on January 27, 2010 by Jonathan Ancer

 It was the public relations coup of the year. The Cycle Tour had HollywoodA-lister Matt Damon in the bag. They’d managed to persuade the actor to take a break from his on-screen duties to sit on a saddle. The problem … Continue reading →

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