Monthly Archives: June 2012

Reputations (and mirrrors) are crushed by fickle finger of gate

I put my car into reverse and back out of the driveway. I’m distracted. I’m trying to solve this crossword clue: Rash act, eg foolishly join party one shouldn’t (9), but the solution evades me. Foolishly join a party one … Continue reading

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Giving wings to wind while following orders as domestique

I broke wind in front of the premier and members of her cabinet. The story of my slip-up (or should that be slip-out?) starts on the Better Together Cycle Tour. The Zille-led pedal power ride started in Plett on Sunday … Continue reading

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Memories of a peacemaker

A resident phones the police. She’s hysterical. A naked black man, armed with a revolver, is roaming a Johannesburg neighbourhood, she tells them. “Hurry,” she says. The flying squad is dispatched. Sirens wail. Lights flash. Cops aim their guns at … Continue reading

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Board acts to stem rise of penis fever

A statement by the Film and Publication Board: The Film and Publication Board (FPB) has held an urgent meeting following the decision to classify The Spear. It has been brought to the Board’s attention that the word “penis” is being … Continue reading

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An X-Rayted look at the Big Bang

“Replace sex toy, damaged instrument,” says my mistress. Woah! What? Shhhh. I look around to see who has heard her and spy a guy from the Film and Publication Board. “Be careful,” I warn, “this sort of dirty talk could … Continue reading

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