Category Archives: View from the G-Spot

Columns I wrote when I lived in Grahamstown and was the editor of the local paper Grocott’s Mail in 2006 and 2007.

Fanfare

The fan was on the floor of the Cape Town International Airport, scrounging around in his bags. Out came a pair of underwear. Socks. Hotel shampoo. A tube of toothpaste. The star towered over the fan. The fan wasn’t a … Continue reading

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Philllipphhhhhophhhhh

Philllliphhhhhphhh! The person who knew what sound that was would win R75 000. “It’s the sound of a filing cabinet being opened,” a woman guessed. She was wrong. “It’s the sound of a can of Coke dropping from a vending … Continue reading

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Be afraid, be very afraid

Paraskevidekatriaphobia! No, I didn’t just sneeze. If you suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia then you have probably locked your doors, shut your windows and are safely tucked in bed with your fingers crossed. Paraskevidekatriaphobia is triskaidekaphobia with the added twist of fryphobia. … Continue reading

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A ghost in the machine!

I was in the office, working late. Okay, maybe I was just playing one game of Tetris. I heard a noise. I took no notice of it. I heard the noise again. It didn’t sound like the usual late night … Continue reading

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Hope I wasn’t a passenger from hell

 Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. Great, I exclaimed as the bus left the Joburg terminal to weave its way to my first Grahamstown Festival 12 years ago, the person sitting next to me is a sniffer. Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. For the next … Continue reading

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James Bond and Roger Moer

I walked slowly towards the headmaster’s office on Friday. There is something about going to the headmaster’s office that makes me feel queasy. The last time I’d been there was due to an unfortunate accident involving a Bunsen burner and … Continue reading

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Remember the class of ’76

The phone rang at the Yeoville Police Station. A young constable picked it up. “There’s a Black man waving a gun, holding a white boy hostage,” a Joburg woman spluttered. Panic gripped the constable. He flew into action. Within minutes, … Continue reading

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