Category Archives: Diary of a Bumbling Hack

A fortnightly column the Witness about the adventures of a newbie journalist wading through South Africa’s political swamp…

All hell breaks loose as @ChesterMissing and @Steve_Hofmeyr square up to rap-off

Dear Diary RE: Light-bulb moment We’re at a news conference when the Ed says that all the other newspapers will cover the Chester Missing versus Steve “The Hoff” Hofmeyr interdict case and, he asks, how can we make our coverage … Continue reading

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Zuma’s new campaign: A Booty Life for All

Dear Diary RE: Hell, no, we won’t Mo! The Ed ordered me to grow a moustache to experience Mo’vember so I can write about it from the inside. He called it “method”. I don’t get this cancer awareness campaign: someone … Continue reading

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Sorry to offend but Hofmeyr gets a new sponsor: Eskom

Dear Diary RE: Dummy on Dummy violence Steve Hofmeyr has taken out an interdict against puppet Chester Missing. It all started when Hofmeyr tweeted: “Sorry to offend but in my books Blacks were the architects of Apartheid” and Chester went all … Continue reading

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(DISS)Grace’s DISSertation: She Passed With DISStinction

Dear Diary  RE: Diss-Grace I’ve got my first international reporting assignment. Ok, it’s Zimbabwe, but international is international. I’m climbing the journo ladder three rungs at a time.  The editor wants me to investigate Grace Mugabe’s PhD. He believes Grace … Continue reading

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Let’s get one thing clear, Mr Miyagi: Juju is no white belt…

Dear Diary RE: The Incredible Sulk The editor shouted at me like he’s never shouted at me before – even more than when I accidentally defamed his wife. The rebuke had nothing to do with my copy. It was my … Continue reading

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We’ll defend Noakes with our dairy rears

Dear Diary  Re: No ifs but a lot of butts The minister in charge of water and sanitation Nomvula Mokonyane said Cabinet ministers will use their buttocks to defend President Jacob Zuma. I decided I’d write a story to see … Continue reading

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A spook scoop as JZ and Vlad the Invader shoot the breeze

Dear Diary  RE: Putin on the Ritz I was all out of story ideas when I heard that the Prez had gone to Russia. He slipped out of the country with the sort of ease his erstwhile financial advisor employs … Continue reading

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