Category Archives: Angry Utterances (10)

I am resigned

You’re gunning down the highway, take a corner. The car in front is stationary. Your phone rings at 3am. You’re home alone when you hear someone shuffle about in the next |door room. You hand in your resignation. Your heart … Continue reading

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Who pimped my CV? The Jekyll and Hyde world of Dr Jordan

In a quest to discover the truth about whether Pallo Jordan, er, doctored his CV, Angry Utterances sent the former minister some text messages. In a world exclusive we can reveal the strange case of Dr Jordan and Mr Pallo. … Continue reading

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Banting gets a kneading in Plum Pudding pun-off

“Feeling a bit light-headed?” Dave asked and then doubled over in fits of laughter. It had been a disaster. I had attached a mount to my helmet for a light and we had headed off for an early morning bike … Continue reading

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Big Bro Noakes is watching how you roll, okes

Welcome to our re-breaducation camp, designed by me, Tim Noakes – the high priest of high fat. The aim of these camps is to reprogramme people who have failed to embrace Noakesism. It’s not your fault you’ve swallowed the mielie-mouthed … Continue reading

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A mensch is gone

It was with a Herman Caplan-sized lump in my throat that I made my way through last Thursday’s Business Day crossword. It was a puzzle Herman would not complete. Last Thursday, Herman, a close family friend and my crossword mentor, … Continue reading

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It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take…

I put my hand inside the cupboard, which I’d packed with treasures and keepsakes, then locked when I left my parents’ home. The cupboard remained closed because I had misplaced (okay, lost) the key. Two decades later (after a locksmith … Continue reading

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