Monthly Archives: July 2011

Double OMG I’ve landed in Acronym Hell

South Africa has a twelfth official language – Bureaucratanese. It’s spoken by people in The Government. I started learning this language this week when I took a course to become a Seta-accredited “assessor”. Here’s an actual sentence in Bureaucratanese. “You … Continue reading

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A simple Pieman met a Skyman

Jonnie “PieMan” Marbles will go down in history for a pudding attack that outfoxed an old fox – Rupert Murdoch. It wasn’t so much an upper-cut – it was more of an upper-crust.    Marbles is being held in custardy and … Continue reading

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Part 1: My Castrol tin box

On March 23 someone broke into Jonathan Ancer’s underpants. During his search for answers Ancer discovers that the man who has breached his holy of holies is a scam artist who calls himself Joseph Williams. Now, in this five-part series … Continue reading

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Part 2: The Prowler and the Prowling…

I’m mad as hell. Joseph Williams broke into my house and helped himself to my stuff. He stole my Castrol Tin Box, which held my chequebook and other treasures and cherished childhood memories. His hands, which rifled through my underpants … Continue reading

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Part 3: My Cheque Mate

Hands up everyone who trusts the police. Hmmm, that’s what I thought. So with folks like Jackie “15 years” Selebi and Bheki “Pimp my HQ” Cele leading the charge against crime in this country, I decided to go vigilante on … Continue reading

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Part 4: I Join The Mob

When the police and the banks show zero interest in investigating a burglary at my  house I decide to take the law into my own hands. I’m hoping I have finally found Joseph Williams, the man who stole my chequebook … Continue reading

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Part 5: Why I Can’t Let it Go

Julius Malema is building a state-of-|the-art safe room bunker under his new R16 million home –– that’s one helluva big underpants drawer. I can’t afford a bunker, but as I near the end of my search for justice I’m beginning … Continue reading

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