Tag Archives: Juju

Let’s get one thing clear, Mr Miyagi: Juju is no white belt…

Dear Diary RE: The Incredible Sulk The editor shouted at me like he’s never shouted at me before – even more than when I accidentally defamed his wife. The rebuke had nothing to do with my copy. It was my … Continue reading

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Juju’s plans for South EFFrica

The big surprise of the election, so the pundits tell us, is EFF securing a million-and-some votes. But what now for Julius Malema’s party? Angry Utterances’ reporter Drag Queen Leia (9,4) hacked into Juju’s cellphone and e-mail to bring this … Continue reading

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Let’s get our EFFing name known and we’ll be in the pink, Floyd

Dear Floyd, I bet you’re still sleeping after the launch of the Economic Freedom Fighters. The journalist was right when she called you a lie-in bastard! With you and Kenny Kunene by my side, Floyd, we can really party. Nando’s. … Continue reading

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Juju’s jazz is going for a song…

Julius Malema’s goodies went on auction last week to pay his R16 million tax bill. The taxman claims that Malema owes this money in connection with business earnings that didn’t match his tax declarations – surely not, you gasp, but … Continue reading

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Service with a shrug

I know exactly what Julius Malema means when he says he’s a used condom. I know because I’m a South African consumer. We’re treated with contempt and indifference. In fact, a used condom probably feels less screwed over. My latest … Continue reading

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Juju makes heavy weather of trying to spear a job

Dear Floyd, Is it a coincidence that the first three letters of Thuli Madonsela’s surname are MAD? And please don’t point out that the first three letters of mine are MAL. I can’t move without the public protector pouncing on … Continue reading

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The ANC Lunar League: True power starts with a party

“Floyd, I have one word for you – Armstrong!” “Yes, you are the mighty Juju, no matter what the Zumas and Ramaphosas do to you, but I have one query – and please don’t take this the wrong way, glorious … Continue reading

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