Category Archives: View from the G-Spot

Columns I wrote when I lived in Grahamstown and was the editor of the local paper Grocott’s Mail in 2006 and 2007.

Fanfare

Posted on February 23, 2007 by

The fan was on the floor of the Cape Town International Airport, scrounging around in his bags. Out came a pair of underwear. Socks. Hotel shampoo. A tube of toothpaste. The star towered over the fan. The fan wasn’t a … Continue reading →

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Philllipphhhhhophhhhh

Posted on October 20, 2006 by

Philllliphhhhhphhh! The person who knew what sound that was would win R75 000. “It’s the sound of a filing cabinet being opened,” a woman guessed. She was wrong. “It’s the sound of a can of Coke dropping from a vending … Continue reading →

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Be afraid, be very afraid

Posted on October 13, 2006 by

Paraskevidekatriaphobia! No, I didn’t just sneeze. If you suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia then you have probably locked your doors, shut your windows and are safely tucked in bed with your fingers crossed. Paraskevidekatriaphobia is triskaidekaphobia with the added twist of fryphobia. … Continue reading →

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A ghost in the machine!

Posted on June 30, 2006 by

I was in the office, working late. Okay, maybe I was just playing one game of Tetris. I heard a noise. I took no notice of it. I heard the noise again. It didn’t sound like the usual late night … Continue reading →

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Hope I wasn’t a passenger from hell

Posted on June 23, 2006 by

 Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. Great, I exclaimed as the bus left the Joburg terminal to weave its way to my first Grahamstown Festival 12 years ago, the person sitting next to me is a sniffer. Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. Sniiiifffff. For the next … Continue reading →

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James Bond and Roger Moer

Posted on June 15, 2006 by

I walked slowly towards the headmaster’s office on Friday. There is something about going to the headmaster’s office that makes me feel queasy. The last time I’d been there was due to an unfortunate accident involving a Bunsen burner and … Continue reading →

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Remember the class of ’76

Posted on June 14, 2006 by

The phone rang at the Yeoville Police Station. A young constable picked it up. “There’s a Black man waving a gun, holding a white boy hostage,” a Joburg woman spluttered. Panic gripped the constable. He flew into action. Within minutes, … Continue reading →

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Captain, my captain

Posted on June 9, 2006 by

This evening at 6pm, Germany will take on Costa Rico in the beginning of football’s Holy Grail – World Cup 2006. The four-year long wait is finally over. World Cup football fever is so high that a Dutch insurer is … Continue reading →

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Grahamstown, this is your new mayor…. NOT!

Posted on June 9, 2006 by

  I could hear the presses whirring. I could smell the ink. As the phone rang, spasms shot up and down my back and shoulders. At 11am last week Thursday, I had taken an expensive gamble. In roulette terms, I’d … Continue reading →

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First the shock, then the shaving …

Posted on March 17, 2006 by

I hang my soon-to-be-shaved head in shame. I am a rotten, rotten South African. I had watched with horror as Ricky Ponting bludgeoned South Africa’s bowling to help Australia become the first team to pass 400 runs in the history of one day … Continue reading →

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